Class Acts

1. Imus calling female basketball players “hos.” They might be hos, but your ass is fired for being a sexist, racist, misogynist butthead, while they look like well-mannered, classy chicks. They go on Oprah and you go on unemployment. I guess you did get what was comin’ to ya. You even got Al Roker to say you should be shitcanned, and that ought to say something.
2. Anna Nicole Smith’s sister has published Train Wreck, the behind-the-scenes story of the former model and Playboy bunny. I hereby grant my sister the right to write a trashy book about me someday, so long as it has a cool title, like, My Mortgage Payment or Dumbfuck. It’s nice to know that tragedy can be turned into profit.
3. A former temp in our offices who conducted a 50-minute phone interview for another job on a work phone during work hours. I blame brain mites for this one, folks.
4. Ann Coulter. I don’t have a particular event in mind, I just happen to know she’s an ass.

5. The idiot producer of Katie Couric’s faux blog that plagiarized the hell out of someone else’s work for an essay on libraries. I guess we can include Katie Couric, too, for allowing someone else to write her stuff and post it under her name. Yeah, she’s busy being a terrible news anchor, I know. It’s a full-time job being inept for some people.

6. My boss for admitting that another employee doesn’t know how to do her job. She did this in front of me, a co-worker. That shit ain’t kosher, even if it happens to be true. She also did this in front of a new volunteer. Mustn’t she feel great about volunteering her precious time to work for a bunch of idjuts?

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