Post of Brain-Deaditude

Whoever invented these long-ass three-hour evening classes is a sadist. You can dress the class up and stick it in a nice classroom with comfy seating, but in the end, it will still be a total grind on your mind and body. The damn thing just keeps going and going. And, well… professor? That five-minute break is a joke. JOKE. Five minutes is not going to bring my mind back from the brink. Totally. Fucking. Braindead.

Here is a little illustration of what the class is like:

6:40- Sitting with my notepad and pen in hand, I am the very picture of academic curiousity. Lay on the knowledge, dude.

7:30- Still scribbling away at the notes. Scribble, scribble, scribble. Only forty minutes have passed. Hmm.

8:00- That song from my morning commute is still stuck in my head. I really like it. Green Day has never sounded so good. Walkin’ on the boulevard of broken dreaaams. Oh, right, class… Wilson’s Fourteen Points, got it, sure…

8:15- League of Nations, Treaty of Versailles… do I have gum in my purse? Mints?

8:20- Break! Whew. Lemme stretch my legs. And just where is that gum anyway?

8:25- What, already? Oh, fine…

8:30- President Coolidge… hmm. What do I have to do when I get home? I’m kinda hungry. Wish I had a Coke. I like writing in blue ink more than black ink.

8:40- Yawn. I used to have a purple pen. I like writing with purple pens. A purple pen would make Coolidge more interesting. Yawn. What should I do for my research project? Have I read anything else by F. Scott Fitzgerald? Jazz. I like jazz. I have that Miles Davis verion of “My Favorite Things” in my head now. Yawn. Do you think those blurry scribbles on the board signify anything important? Oh well. Yawn.

8:45- Yawn. Ow. I think my jaw just popped with that yawn.

8:50 – I think my left contact lens is trying to commit suicide. Popgoesthelensy.

8:55- Note to self: Propping up your eyelids with caps off your pens is a uniquely stupid idea.

9:00- La la la. Doo da dee. Tra la la. Bananafanna mo manna, fee fi mo manna. Llllllllllllllama.

9:05- He’s still talking. Gibber, gibber, gibber. I like that girl’s nail polish down there. Is that bag a Kate Spade? Holy haute couture, Batman. Gibber gabber blabber fabber yabber nabber…

9:10- Hello, this is Aemilia. She is experiencing out-of-her-mind boredom at the moment, but if you leave your name and number, she will get back to you just as soon as this fucking class ends. Beep.

9:15- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

9:20- …………

9:25- !!!!!!!!!!!!

9:30- FINALLY.


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