Le Mort de Pigpen
Pigpen (that’s my car, dear little Pigpen) decided she needed a bit more attention and had a dead battery this week. Just all of a sudden… poof. No power.
The Drama…
Aemilia: *attempt to start up car*
Pigpen: *vr.. putt-putt-putt*
Aemilia: Hell. *attempts it again*
Pigpen: *putt?*
The Husband’s Truck: *smug and red-colored and shiny and cool*
Aemilia: Aw c’mon.
Pigpen: *putt…!!*
The Husband’s Truck: *smirky*
Pigpen: Shut it, Nissan.
Aemilia: But… damn… *one more attempt*
Pigpen: HEATHEN HUMAN. Those weak-ass putt-vroom noises you hear? It means my BATTERY IS DEAD. Muerto. Kaput. As in, I ain’t movin’. No more ferrying your ass around until this is fixed, y’hear?
Aemilia: Hey. I think I need a new car battery.
Pigpen: Durr-hey.
Yep, had to get a new car battery. $30 bucks at Wal-Mart later for a battery (then another $20 for tools) and she’s up to her usual tricks. The Husband is brilliant and changed out the battery on his own. By the looks of that old battery, Pigpen may have been overdue for a new one. The wires were all corroded.
Pigpen: Durr-hey.
For those who don’t know, Pigpen is a 2000 Dodge Neon. Dodge calls her color “gold” but that’s exaggerating it quite a bit. She’s a dusty khaki tan color, which is fortunate for her, as she spends all her time outside. She is constantly, consistantly dusty and filthy to the max. Even after a car wash, she’s still grimy. Hence her little name. She wears the desert dusts well, however.
Pigpen is a big consumer of compact discs. She must be appeased with four in her CD changer at one time. For this offering she does allow me to skip around tracks I don’t want to hear and play the same song eight or nine times in a row. If she doesn’t care for a CD, it inevitably comes out of the CD changer slightly mangled and chewed-on.
Pigpen: I said I wanted “Scarlet Pimpernel.” You can have this “Bat Boy” CD back, it’s been here for weeks. I gotta have more show tunes. And maybe some Puccini. Yeah. What about some U2? Would it hurt you so much to bring back that nice Beethoven one? You can’t make me play “Tained Love” one goddamn more time, so throw that sucker away. And WHERE is my Coltrane? Don’t MAKE me munch this Coldplay disk.
The Husband’s Truck: *always smirky*